Why adults have affairs?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with problems, cause heartache, and other harms. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness matter, finances, age dissimilarity, religious background, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married woman.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affairs. I am sure mostly though it is only the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your relatives or anybody else? You would need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your money are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, generally the husband is sexually neglecting his female for a tones of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed separately, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair